| 英语助教winy |
2008-11-20 22:09 |
三．写作语言 YcQ$n ZAU
重视语言的表达（实质性的涨分数） CdBpz/
There is a growing concern over the students who don’t put too much emphasis on study. Some students always idle away their time, playing cards, drinking, gambling. These problems are really serious. Taking into account all these factors, we can safely come to the conclusion that the students will waste more time if they don’t make good use of it. 5)5$h]Nz>
分析： j gvz p
句型：There is a growing concern over ....人们越来越担忧，学术性文章中人称是不怎么常用的 如写成people are very much worried about…就得不到分了，不符合英美的表达习惯 Y/x>wNW
put too much emphasis on ... y
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idle away their time... 消磨时光 f,|g|&C
句型：Taking into account all these factors, we can safely come to the conclusion that.... （我们完全可以得出…结论，很地道） csd9[=HW/Q
As a student, busy as I am with my study, I also do many interesting things such as reading novels, writing articles at the two-day weekend. All work no play makes Jack a dull boy. It’s really true ! MK- +[K
...busy as I am with my study... （＝although I am busy with my study得不到分） Bq ;GO
All work no play makes Jack a dull boy. 只工作，不玩耍，聪明的孩子也变傻。这些词句就向沙漠中的金子闪闪发光，不能不使阅卷人感到欣喜。 K^6d_b&
实际上，所谓的金子无非是语言的variety，即用词的变化，用句的变化，就语言而论不存在那个词好，那个词不好，那个句子好，那个句子不好的说法。所谓语言漂亮是指语言的变化。 obGhO
具体现下：词汇第一位，语法第二位。 ::+;PRy_E
词汇： 6:L2oW 6}{
１、 词汇的宽度；即词汇的面，多变化，一定不能出现重复的词。 9pPLOXr ,
２、词汇的难度。 \K~wsu/?`
基础差的同学得分：词汇的难度可能作不到，但词汇的宽度可以贯彻写作意识。 i7 21(1
第一档：没有词汇概念 UOf\pG
第二档：有意识的换掉重复的词 mB"I(>q*M
第三档：挑战词汇的难度 Vc;[ 0iB
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句子结构：（语法） S\N1q ux{
１、 句子结构的精确性； ~>u| 7 M$(
２、 句子结构的复杂性 G5/A {1sz&
a. 句型的开端多变化（种种方式） -t|/g5.w_
b 包含从句 （状语从句，定语从句，同位语从句，非谓语动词等） fasW b&~z
第一档：没有语法概念，低级错误一大堆 fAULuF
第二档：句子结构没有什么错误，但多为简单句 D j
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第三档：努力做复杂句子结构，学会用句型去包装 4P3RRS
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用就死定了，所以千万不要去用，more and more ,或 somepeople think SSF:PTeG>
要改变语言缺乏这一毛病，就要平时积累对同一意思的不同表达法，在写作时善于变化，以下句子均没有任何错误，但b句的表达比a句更优秀。这就是实质性的涨分数 RDbNC v#
如要表示“使”不要仅靠make; l5w^rj
社会拒绝给妇女以平等的权利。 ODu/B'*
a)This society still makes women unable to enjoy equal rights. "#wAGlH6>
b)Women are still denied equal rights. ]Yt3@ug_f
这件小事情使我想起了过去的一段经历。 !(bYh`Uy
a)The incident made me recall one of my past experiences. 2FL_!;p;2E
b)The incident remained me of one of my past experiences. vIi&D;
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如要表达“越来越”，不要只使用more and more： D S|x*w'I
a)More and more students find learning English has become more and more difficult. yh4%
b)Students in growing numbers find learning has become increasingly difficult. 2JHF*zvO-
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a)More and more teenagers smoke cigarettes in recent years. X`} 4=>
b)Teenage smoking is on the rise in recent years. i ;YRE&X
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a)More and more teachers are demanded with the development of economy. k'Z$#
b)There is an increasing demand for teachers with the development of economy. * d[sja+
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如要表达“大多数”。不要一味用most： 5hbQUF
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a)Most student take a part-time job after class. Xz, sL
b)The vast majority of students take a part-time job after class. Mz sDDP+h
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a)Most people take part in sports of different kinds. i }5
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b)The considerable proportion of people take part in sports of different kinds. " (+ >#
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a)Most college students take a negative attitude towards smoking. 0j1I
b)The large percentage of college population take a negative attitude towards smoking. 6P'
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如要用“不仅……而且……”不要只用not only...but also： PK u+
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a)The factors for a rise in teenage smoking is not only social but also psychological. （什么方面在增长的因素） ;*+jCL 2F
b)The factors for a rise in teenage smoking is psychological as well as social. 4 _`+ &
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a)Taking a part-time job can not earn a little money, but also have an opportunity to contact with society. ( N~[sf?&
b)Taking a part-time job means a little money you can earn. It also means an opportunity to contact with society. 干什么不仅仅意味着什么 !,+peM
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a)Old people go to park not only to do exercise but also to make friends. P&V,x`<Z
b)Old people go to park as much for companionship as for exercise. -tAdA2?G
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利于弊：a plus or a minus ，blessing or a curse ，strengthens and weaknesses .8S6;xnkC
缺点 ：drawback 都要比：advantage 和 dis advantage 好 &u( eu'Q3
TV:A Blessing or a curse （利于弊）一篇作文的主体段如下 S Cs@Q
As is often pointed out, television keeps one better informed about the current events, allow one to follow the latest developments in politics and science, and offers endless series of programmers which are both instructive and science, and offers endless series of programmers which are both instructive and stimulating. The most distant countries, the strangest customs and attractive scenes of nature are brought right into one’s room. Yet here again, there is danger. The main problem with TV has been its negative effect on people in general. For example, rubbishy commercials and harmful programs contributing to the rise in violence and crime in the streets.
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正是这种变化，给文章带来了活力，使文章变得生动，耐读。比如一篇谈论好学生的文章，肯定会多次谈到“好学生”，在文章中，变化使用：brilliant students ,top students, outstanding boy and girls, students of high ability 要比一味说good students，给人更多的美感。make efforts=make(exert/devote/direct) untiring(painstaking/concerted齐心协力的/consistent坚持不懈的/tremendous /persistent/sustained) efforts 但后者会毫无疑问的得到更多的分数。 4NT zK
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Watching too much TV is harmful to our eyesight 3^AycwNBA
=Heavy exposure to TV will produce harmful effect on eyesight. <`,pyvR Kv
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The progress I have made surprise me. :9un6A9J S
This leads me to the conclusion that money doesn’t mean everything. 5[l9`Cn&A
所以，我们提倡在写作考试中大胆的运用一些较难的词汇，即使有点错，立地有点不稳，但还是要比难度系数不高，下地四平八稳得的分数高。
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以下a）句显得不很简练，b）就是真正的简练，但有不流于简单 par| j ]
a) The progress I have made makes me surprised. <Wc9 8m
b) The progress I have made surprises me.(简练) P \<dy?nZ
a) This makes me conclude that money doesn’t mean everything. Ei!t#'*D<
b) This leads me to the conclusion that money doesn’t mean everything. 6J. [9#
当发现追求一一对应，而找不到对应词时，说出意思就可以了。 ghvF%-."1
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２、句型的变化 |
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